Rowing. Wading. Raging.
The vibrator companies smiled wide. They were putting intimacy out of business. Culling it and putting a heavy tombstone on that self-dissipating, time-wasting, heart-putrifying sentiment. And very well, at that. At least a vibrator won't promise to call and then, not.
Oh, you say that it's in the works? Technology is many a splendid thing, is it not. A vibrator can't and won't break your heart. A vibrator puts control back in your hands - literally. A vibrator cannot make you pregnant. Did you know that maternity isn't covered by medical or health insurance? I mean, women have been delivering babies since, you know there were babies to be made and mankind to be kindered. And yet, it's considered like a fledgling, novel thing that's not-yet come into fashion. One of those wild new fads that people wait to see if it's going to stick before making the investment of jumping on the bandwagon. I digress - what were we talking about - yes, that a vibrator is the answer. And a vibrator that calls you back - wow AI, FTW.
It's about time that this pestilence called intimacy was put to rest. Uproot it and banish it from our lives. That one way street, that’s filled with women going up the wrong way, with that all too familiar hunted look in their eyes - of being disappointed. Again. Of mandated motherhood. Again. While the man that dated-impregnated-scooted, gets to walk away and repeat the whole exercise all over. Again and again and again. Maybe outlaw him and his baby-profusion-hose? But of course not, we don’t hold men responsible - the father who left, the sower of wild oats, the “gentleman” with his face plastered over countless little bastards. None of the burden of dishonour or disrepute or even responsibility of providing. There isn’t a word for a man who has fathered out of wedlock, is there? The uterus is a heavy organ and the burden is the woman’s alone.
Bringing us back to the inconvenience of intimacy. That mess of a thing that makes a mighty mess of many things. All this loving and leaving, cumming and going, babies happening and abortion unlawing. We're done with it. Raise your glasses ladies, let's drink to this new heartache-fake-orgasm-shitty-man-unwanted-motherhood free era. And mind you, use your left hand please. Your right hand is for worthier pursuits - or is that even a thing for women?
